In the future we'll all be gay
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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