Pants 0. Shit 1.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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