arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
