You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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