he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
