Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
