AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
