what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize