Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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