if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
