its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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