i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
