its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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