I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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