you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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