In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
