where does the pee come out of this thing
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
