its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
