Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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