Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
