i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
