the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
