You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
