i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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