Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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