I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
