You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
