just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
