I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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