did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
