Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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