yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
People in love make me want to vomit
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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