Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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