Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I understand Curling. That high.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
