Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
