Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
