Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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