An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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