So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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