I am puke
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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