You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
