you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
