I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Randomize
