508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
