Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
