The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
