Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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