He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
