Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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