@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You pole danced in your parka.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
