just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
