so that wasnt chicken after all
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
